Why is saying “I can’t” so difficult?

“Unfortunately, most people do not stop to feel their tiredness. Faced with the pressures of life, they believe that it is a matter of survival to go on as they have been. Feeling tired raises a deep fear that they may not be able to continue the struggle. Many find it difficult to say, ‘I can’t.’ As children, they were taught that where there’s a will, there’s a way. To say, ‘I can’t,’ is to admit failure, which is seen as evidence that they are unworthy of love.”

– Alexander Lowen

Hi everyone,

Workshop by Tarra Stariell on busyness and overwhelm on Saturday, June 5th

We still have space available for No time to think, No time to breathe… Is this me? this coming Saturday, June 5th. I really hope you will join us, and here’s why.

It has become commonplace to joke about our crazy-busy-multi-tasking-non-stop-over-scheduled lives, yet how did we get to this place of taking it so lightly? Are we really willing to collapse into resignation and say, this is just the reality of life in current day society? We accept overwhelm as the new norm?

What is this driven-ness to be super-human, defy all limits, and push beyond our natural reservoir of energy?

We are in trouble when start using our emergency inner resources on a day-to-day basis just to get by. The good news / bad news is we can adapt to ever increasing demands really well, but not without paying the horribly destructive price that we stop feeling what we are really doing to ourselves. Eventually we reach exhaustion . . . of course we might not even notice that. Sometimes we just get numb and stop feeling. Despite the exhaustion we just keep going because we don’t feel much of anything anymore. We fail to recognize the self-cruelty in this, and the result of vicarious traumas we have yet to process.

Our bodies were designed to push and stop, run and rest, exert and recuperate, expand and contract. When we stop abiding by the rhythm of life itself, we lose the ability to know our own inner state, think creatively, and grow in consciousness. We also lose the ability to resonate with one another and the greater world around us. We sacrifice our capacity for that which is ultimately human, to relate, bond, connect, empathize, care and love.

None of us deserves this sort of mistreatment. And we will all pay a hefty price if it persists. We need to push the “pause button” and get re-centered. We all need some help with figuring out how to do this.

I hope you will join us this Saturday. If there is any financial hardship, please do let us know. This workshop series is a service to the community and no one will be turned away for lack of funds.

Barbara Engilsh
Living Ubuntu
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